I’m so glad you’re not like me.
I’m so glad that you never wake up hot and bothered and ready to toss your thigh across a warm, equally ready body. I’m so glad you don’t have to jump out of the bed and start cleaning to fight the urge. I’m glad you don’t go minimally crazy when you ovulate and the days before your lady time. I’m glad you don’t have to hide yourself from men to keep from shamelessly blushing and gu- nevermind. You get the point.
In my first post about the M-Word, I discussed how the act pollutes, creates false soulish connections with the person in mind, possibly defrauds a spouse of their marital rights, and is often evidence of rejection and lust. THIS time I want to paint a picture of how this act can keep you single.
God created you with a sex drive to literally drive you to your spouse. That’s not to say you get to enjoy the sexual part right away (because we don’t), but what reason would any Christ-follower want to marry if not for the tingling between our legs? We could just go and do guilt-free like those who don’t choose to live this life. But because I’ve elected to serve Jesus Christ, my conscience won’t let me continually disobey Him…
Ladies, your sex drive keeps you feminine, soft, and attractive. And oh, those pheromones! But what happens when you release all of that energy into a “don’t-worry-I’ve-got-this-I-don’t-need-no-man” moment? You drain yourself of that Godly energy and take on all the emotions associated with sexual activity with no where to direct them. We become unfocused, tired, and haggard because we’ve poured (yes, I chose that word) ourselves into a vacant space. It’s supposed to go to your husband who is equally sharing his energy with you.
Men, oh men… Men. Men. Men. Men. Men. Y’all fine, and we love you. But I promise, your too strong handshake and lack of eye contact are telling signs that you dibble dabble a bit too much. He’s turned inward and highlights his faults rather than his victories. A man who is full of his God-given sexual energy is confident and even bold in the pursuit of his woman. He allows that energy to drive him to choose a woman who is appealing physically, mentally, and spiritually. Why should you have to gratify yourself when the Lord has a pairs of breasts and thighs to satisfy you? Single person shower satisfaction is not God’s best, my brothers. It’s not good for you to be alone, but the m-word is keeping you alone. Someone WILL love you with your shortcomings better than your hand ever could.
Proverbs 31:3 tells young men to not give their strength to women, and the same scripture applies to women. Why should your beauty and youth be wasted? Why waste the best part of yourself on someone who can’t pour back into you, and especially on no one at all?
The more I date the more I realize it doesn’t have to be as complicated as we make it. If we simply obey, hold on to the promise, hold on to our loins, not give in to lesser options because they are easy to access… If we simply DO the work… If we hold on to our love for God and remain faithful, why would He withhold this blessing? (Psalm 84:11)
One final thought… People often talk about how hard marriage is and how much work you have to put in. To be quite ridiculously honest, this is off-putting to someone like me, and I’ve been married before. It makes a single person not even want to bother with marriage, but you’re still left hot and bothered with no hope of proper expression. I believe this is a ploy of the enemy to steal your faith. If you’ve given up the hope of getting married and resulted in settling for arrangements with a toy (live or not), you’ve bought in to the lie. The same people who are telling you how hard it is likely didn’t do the work before the got married that would make marriage easier and more enjoyable. OR, they picked wrong! Hm. Seems to me you have more control than what some would have you believe.
So zip up… and walk in faith!
With love, sincerity, and hope for your future,
P.S. If you can find a couple transparent enough, ask them about their sexual purity before and after marriage. If they aren’t lying, they’ll tell you the sins they had before followed them right on in to the marriage and created problems.