[dropcap style=”font-size: 50px; color: #9b9b9b;”] S[/dropcap]o today I’ve discovered that I’m 75% addicted to Twitter… whatever that means. I promise I can quit anytime (*scratches neck*). But before I do, here are seven things that my followers love to hate on Twitter.
Note: I have evidence to support what I’m saying below. Y’all didn’t think I was favoriting those tweets for no reason, did you?
#7 Wedge & kitten heels
I personally don’t mind kitten heels in the fall and winter months, but I’m afraid to wear them now. While the ladies love the wedges, the men seem to hate them. What’s the problem with wedges, fellas? They add definition to our calves and can be the perfect match to the sundresses you all adore. So why do you cringe when we wear them?
You know those people who correct your every stinking mistake… Homophones are easy to mess up when you’re on a role. (See what I did there.) But then there are the grammar Nazi’s who insult your intelligence when you’re tweeting out of excitement. Don’t you people have JOBS?! Don’t you have personalities?! Is your sense of security so fragile that if YOU make misteak –there’s another– your whole world will come crumbling down? No? Then let us cook.
If you’re a regular on Twitter, then you’ve had your tweets stolen at least once. There’s one particular person who comes down hard on tweet-jackers yet he’s stolen several of my tweets. But yeah, this is a great thing to love to hate. Imitation is the highest form of flattery, no? So while you’re being praised for your brevity and wit, someone else is getting the credit… and as we discovered this week retweeted again and again and again.
#4 Complimentary subliminal tweets which obviously aren’t about us
Who’s he talking to? Wait… was that for me? Nah. Couldn’t have been.
#3 Uncomplimentary subliminal tweets which obviously ARE about us
I know we all try to be direct and mature, but often there comes a time when we just shouldn’t tweet what we think. So instead of doing what’s completely right, we settle for a subtweet. So how does one deal with this particular issue? Either respond saying “Oh” or completely ignore it.
#2 The Infamous $200 Date Conversation
How many times do we have to go through this? Here’s my two cents on the two hundred dollar convo. If you have it and you want to spend it, go for it. I don’t mind a good deal but Applebee’s two for twenty ain’t it on ANY day! I do mind seeing the conversation spring up again every two to three days.
#1 THE FRIEND ZONE!!
As often as this discussion comes up, I can’t keep my twitter thumbs away from it. This will not be my pedestal, however it does suit my objective here. WHYYYY do we hate the friend zone so much? So you don’t like me like that? Ok? I’ll get over it and realize it’s probably to my benefit. If you can’t discern my awesomeness, I’ll take it elsewhere.
So what do you love to hate on Twitter?
Non-followers partying in your mentions?
Obnoxious relationship coaches and their cheesy hashtags?
Or the big whale and Twitter jail?
With love, sincerity, and hope for enjoyable tweeting,