Being Single, Dating & Relationships, Uncategorized

Dating Site “Whoa’s”

…what I really mean is woes, but to be totally honest, I’m shocked at the foolishness!!

Yeah, I joined one… even paid some money. (It’s not one of those big, commercial sites that advertises on television. Don’t ask because I won’t tell.) Apparently those sites have few men of color on them, and since I prefer color, I decided to go elsewhere.

Why did I do it? Sheer, freakin’ boredom! I guess I felt like I wanted to talk to someone instead of going to bed at the moment. So on the advice of a close family member, I input my credit card number (should’ve used hers) and started browsing right away.

Here’s what I found…

  1. Gross misspellings of names that are being passed off as creativity…. If you’re from Houston and you want to express that, then the proper name would be HoustonBred not HoustonBread.
  2. Sexual references in names…. I thought this was a CHRISTIAN site. Yeah, I’m sure Christians love handling lots of chocolate and 69’s as much as everyone else, but should we advertise that? Ewww… You’re not the man you claim to be.
  3. Old and gold… Any person from a metro area knows exactly what I mean! My preferences are set for gentlemen between 27 and 40. Dude, you’re 50 with a gold tooth messaging me daily and responding angrily because I haven’t expressed interest in you. Go back and read my profile again… thanks! (Perhaps I should include a “no gold teeth” clause.)
  4. Then there’s the ever-present income question. Yes, it’s important, but should it be public knowledge? Not in my opinion… And, sir, if you only make $25k-$35k, you should NOT be comfortable publishing that. And Mr. Big Money… you’re just asking for a gold digger by posting your six figures. Then again, maybe that’s what you want.
  5. The PICTURES! In the words of a good girlfriend, OH MY! LOL… Bathroom mirror shots don’t bother me so much… but the pics with the mess and clutter in the background? And the ones with a former significantchopped off? And the flexing photo sans muscle? And then there’s the fella who’s boldly cheesing in the camera laying on his stomach with his hands under his chin and his feet cocked up in the air like a teenage girl… Sir, are you sure it’s a lady you’re looking for?
  6. The ego bruise… I have to admit that it kinda ticks me off when an ugly fella views my profile (yes, I can see the viewers), and he then DOESN’T send me a flirt. Dude, who do you think you are? I am fine! You should be honored to flirt with me! But then I realize he may think I’m too good-looking for him in which case he’s probably right. Then, I’m not so bothered. (Don’t take me seriously… just joking here!)
  7. After a week, you’ve exhausted all the profiles. Seriously, there are very few people on this site. Folks have viewed and re-viewed my profile, and I have done likewise. You start looking at their pics sideways saying things like “Well I guess his eyes aren’t tooooo far apart…”
  8. And my BIGGEST qualm… You mean I can’t cancel? What if i meet the right guy and get married? The only account settings I have control what’s sent to my email. As far as cancelling goes, there’s no 1-800 number. No “deactivate account” button. Nothing… guess I’ll be cutting up my credit card at the end of the month and requesting a new one.
Sorry for the silliness… but I had to let it out. Perhaps there’s a silver lining in this cloud even if it’s nothing more than wisdom gained.
Love ya lots… and off to bed I go.
With love, sincerity, and hope for your future,
Alana
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Attribution
 Some rights reserved by Don Hankins
  • Girl, you are too much!!! Much needed laugh this morning!