I love random SMS conversations. But today, this one took me by surprise…
Flex: Could you be with someone that you didn’t enjoy kissing?
Me: Absolutely not!Flex: Just making sure I wasn’t crazy.Me: But I would try a few times to see if it gets better.Flex: Yeah, I would. But if I CONSISTENTLY don’t like it…nah lol.Me: Totally agree…Flex: So you wanna kiss me or nah?Me: X______X (I didn’t actually text this, but my eyes did cross.)Flex: I kid I kid lol
That short (hilarious) exchange did two things for me. First, it sent me into a fit of laughter thinking about my friend being poorly kissed by a well-meaning, passionate, but unskilled woman. Can’t you see her closing her eyes, leaning in, tilting her head, and seductively pouting only to smoosh his nose in and chomp down on his lips? Second, it made me think about a few kisses I’ve had over the years. As we all know, 2012 has been relatively dry in the kissing department, so I had to dig deep to really reflect on the matter. (The things I do for you people… psssh…)
Some of ye olde kisses were awkwardly pleasant. Others were forceful and unenjoyable. Some I have to dig deep to even remember though at the time I was having a swoon-fest. But one kiss really stands out in my mind for all the right reasons.
Oh, how I wish I could describe the mechanics of this kiss, but Lord knows you super churchy folk would get all up tight at the mention of kisses that don’t land on foreheads or cheeks. And this kiss was smack dab on the lips. There was suction. There was swooning. There were no consequential actions that led us into sin or regret. The kiss simply communicated “I care about you. I understand you. I value you as a person. Thank you for being you.”
Outside of the fullness of the fella’s lips– *dodges rebukes*– I can pinpoint three factors that contributed to the swoon factor.
- We were incredible friends, and I just didn’t expect it.
- He was respectful enough to ask but charming enough to not make it sound like he was asking.
- His kiss wasn’t a demonstration of other activities he might have wanted to do with me.
Immediately following this seven-second smooch, I turned my back towards him, crumpled to my knees, and fell flat on my face— in my mind, of course. In real life, I zombie-walked away in complete and utter shock. Once I was alone I smirked and giggled like a fool.
Many of us are far too careless with our kisses. For some that may look like kissing too many people or not kissing the one you claim to love enough. For others, we fail to communicate what matters most in such an intimate moment, and that is your respect and admiration for the person of interest. We can’t be so careless to communicate our demands in hopes that the other party will be moved (coerced– whatever) to fulfill our desires. And selfish kisses are worse than bad breath kisses for one reason, and one reason only. They’re totally forgettable.
[quote] “The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss.” ― Jarod Kint[/quote]
Next time you want to make someone swoon, remember respect and compassion will help you win the cause, but at the very least, you won’t be forgotten.
With love, sincerity, and pack of Chap Stick,