Being Saved, Being Single, Dating & Relationships, Uncategorized

Precautionary Dating Tale #5: The Man IN My Dream

I’ve been a bit unsettled the past few days, and the only reason I can think as to why is because I tend to feel the energy and thoughts of those around me. What do you word-loving folks call that? An empath? Meh. It’s not quite the right word, and I’ll tell you why.

I dreamed that a man was in my personal space so much that I could not escape him. He wasn’t abusive, violent, or unkind. He was just very very very present. I couldn’t leave the space in my dream, but I do remember finally sitting on the floor tired from trying to kindly escape him, only to have him sit at my feet. I dream in color, but this particular instance, I saw shades of sepia, black, and gray. I knew this wasn’t the guy for me.

The VERY next day, someone invaded my space over and over again to the point where I became annoyed & exasperated. For the rest of the day, I felt his energy and thoughts. Empath? Kinda. Spooky? Definitely. I didn’t shake the ickiness til Saturday morning.

So the man in my dreams was smart, motivated, well-meaning, successful– had great qualities. He was even handsome. But because I knew he wasn’t for me, none of that mattered. The man I encountered isn’t much different. Had I dreamed something like this two years ago I would’ve thought “Oh Lord, you gave me a dream about him. He must be the one for me!”

Starry-eyed, stupid, and shameless I would’ve begun a relationship with someone with whom I was supposed to avoid. My littered soul would’ve prevented me from seeking out God’s purpose for revealing this man to me. This time, I knew better.

I knew better because God has spoken clearly to me about a few things regarding my future boo that makes several candidates easy to cross off the list. Here’s what I know.

I know that God has chosen a mate for me who will see me as a gift. 

I know the time frame in which I will meet him.

I know he’s not pushy, self-serving, or arrogant.

I know he won’t be sitting at my feet like a lost puppy.

I know he will love God more than he’ll love me.

I know he’s going to be physically attractive to me, and I won’t have to squint my eyes and look at him sideways to want to look at him.

The person IN your dreams is not always the person OF your dreams if the latter even exists. Sometimes God will present us with a person to see if we really want what we’ve asked Him for and if we’re willing to wait on it. I have six months left on my dating sabbatical, so should this person ask me out, it’ll be super easy to say no. It’s just not my time.

But for those of you who are actively dating, courting, seeking, waiting– Ask God specific questions to help you navigate. If you know that your future mate will be a doctor, ain’t no sense getting caught up with the construction worker unless he’s in med school. But surely the construction worker will cross your path and you’ll have to say no to his rippling abs and chiseled arms. And when you know he ain’t the one, it should be (relatively) easy to keep it moving. Don’t stick around to find out why he’s wrong for you. This is how many of us ended up heartbroken in the first place.

 

Dating Precaution #5: Soul issues often cause us to misinterpret what God is trying to reveal. The man IN your dreams and the man OF your dreams may be two different people. They are not to be confused, so seek God before making a move. 

 

With love, sincerity, and hope for your future,

 

Alana

 

Image courtesy of  FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Being Saved, Being Single, Fine Oil Initiative, Uncategorized

I Moved for Love

Many proposed that I was being foolish and running from my problems.

Others thought I was being overly ambitious.

A few thought I was pregnant and hiding it.

The truth is that I moved for love.

I started packing in June and for two and a half months my children and I lived on the bare minimum while our nicer things remained in boxes. I had no money some days, and so I sold a few of my belongings to make ends meet. I did this all for love.

I quit my job before I had another. I submitted my 60-day notice before I had a new home. What kind of man would ask a woman to leave what she has to join him in another place with no certainty, no promise, no guarantees? Only trust. I did it anyway for love.

I drove to an interview and was certain the job was mine. Two weeks later– two weeks too late– they offered me a job, but not the one I wanted. He told me to come anyway. He needed to have me there. So I took the job for love.

Twelve hundred dollars was the cost for moving my things. If you don’t give me this money, then I can’t come. Someone came along and charged me six hundred. I paid them for love.

For weeks I was bound by fear wondering if He were telling me the truth. Was He being honest, or manipulative? Could I trust Him? If I moved my life… my children… my belongings… my career… my ministry… would He support me? Or would He leave me? Would He stay to mock me? I fought my fears for love.

I don’t know how many times I’ve said that I would never move for love, but here I am in a new city, my kids in a new school, working the job that I’ve wanted for years (they changed their minds), with plenty of time in the evening to do whatever I choose to do. I choose to spend that time loving Him.

And to be perfectly honest, I did run from some things. Even the animal kingdom knows that when a river dries up, it’s time to move.

And maybe I was being a little ambitious. I hate to be bored.

And, yes, I am pregnant, but not with a baby. With purpose.

And I did the thing I swore I’d never do…. I moved for love for One who is not a man that He should lie, nor a little boy that He should change His mind. He promised it, and He performed it. He spoke it, and He’s making it good.

 

Photo credit: Creative Commons License Atilla Kefeli via Compfight

Being Saved, Uncategorized

I’m a dreamer by nature, but every so often the Lord gives me a picture in my mind’s eye while I’m awake…. a vision so to speak. And last Friday, for a few moments I saw people walking around with large blockheads. Think of those blocks you played with as a toddler, make it one hundred times bigger, set it on your shoulders, and that’s what I saw.

I hadn’t a clue what it meant so I asked the Lord to show me more. He showed me these blockhead-ed folk walking towards doors expecting to go through, only to run smack into the doorposts or get stuck in between. I always think of doors as opportunities, but the blockheads had me baffled.

…Until later that afternoon when in an awkward conversation with someone, I realized that we as Christ-followers have become so conformed to the world’s way of thinking that we are in essence blockheads. Mental blocks, or strongholds, cause us to navigate our lives in an unwieldy manner. Imagine, if you will, how much your physical existence would be impacted if your head were truly shaped that way AND out of proportion with your body. You’d lean to the side as you walked… bump your head into every thing… couldn’t fit into your car. And so, spiritually speaking, strongholds do the same to our inner man. They limit our faith and make it literally impossible for us to reach our fullest potential in Christ. And we have the nerve to think we’re putting God in a box.

No! No! No! WE ARE IN THE BOX!!!

Having my own unique set of strongholds, I’ve found the Lord chipping down my gargantuan oddly b0x-shaped spiritual dome and so opportunities that I’ve never had before have been presented to me. Last year this time, I would’ve missed these blessings. I barely recognized them this year! Thank God for His grace.

In John 11, we’re told a story of a man named Lazarus, Jesus’ homeboy. Long story short, Lazarus died. And Jesus in his seemingly insensitive way didn’t run to Lazarus’s aid. Instead he waited… for four days he waited. See the folks closest to Jesus knew He could heal the worst of sicknesses, cast out the nastiest devils, and even bring a person back from the day within 3 days time. Yet their proverbial box about what the son of God could do still rested on their shoulders. And when Jesus came on the fourth day, they tried to stop Him from making a fool of Himself. They stood around and watched, the whole city you understand, as Jesus cried out to His dead friend “LAZARUS, COME FORTH!”

Can you imagine the shock, the terror and the cries that came from the people as a body they thought had begun to rot came creeping out of the tombs?  A preacher might say Jesus stretched their faith, but I can’t see where anyone actually believed He could do it. So it seems to me that He took them past the point of believing and THEN demonstrated His power. They actually thought He had forsaken them and even questioned His character. Oh, you’ve never done that to God? I have… and quite a bit in this last month.

But I digress…

Any thought process, belief system or fear that says God can’t or won’t do something for you is, in essence, a stronghold. We all have them. And if you think don’t, well your head is bigger and boxier than the rest of ours.

As it was in the days of Lazarus so it is in this day, we believe in God. We trust Him. We walk by faith and live out His Word. To a point. And when we are given new opportunities we race forward to the door expecting a great change, but our big *ahem* heads won’t let us through.

Inasmuch as we refute arguments and theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the true knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One). (2 Corinthians 10:5)

I’ll leave that scripture there for now and ask you to think about the last time you thought that God can’t or God won’t or that you need something outside of God and His resources to fix a problem…  Those are your strongholds.

We will look at them more closely another time.

 

What blocks are on your shoulders and keeping you outside of new opportunities?

 

With love, sincerity, and hope for your future,

 

Alana