Being Saved, Uncategorized

So I’ve got this little crush. I don’t see him often, but when I do, I get a little goofy, giggly, and swoony. I AM, after all, very much a woman. The chances of this crush blooming into anything more is unlikely, and I’m fine with that. Sometimes just gazing upon a handsome face and frame is all I need to keep me from hopping over to  homely mom status.

Having said all that, it’s easy to get caught up imagining things…

Oh, don’t play dumb with me, sis! We are notorious for taking a mental skip, hop, and jump to wedding day when a fine brother pays us a little attention. We long for intimacy, but we don’t want to wait long so fantasizing creates a pleasant scenario in our minds in the meantime.

But here’s the problem.

While you’re off in la-la-land rehearsing the what-could-be’s, your soul is busy connecting to someone who may or may not exist. And even if he is all of the wonderful things you hope, shouldn’t the tie be formed through natural human interaction over time?

Any time we indulge in vain imaginations, we become subject to deception. I started to imagine this and that with Mr. Crush, but the Lord quickly arrested me. “Is that REALLY want you want from him? He can’t give you what I have in mind. This thought pattern is exactly how you opened yourself up to be fooled before.”

Not to belabor  the point, but I’d like you to check your track record. How many times have you…

  • Moved the relationship along faster than its natural flow?
  • Made unreasonable demands?
  • Expected or hoped for too much too soon?
  • Shared too much too soon?
  • Bought gifts and provided services (clears throat) outside of the proper covenant?
  • Held on when you should’ve let go?
  • Made excuses for someone you knew wasn’t any good because you didn’t want to your imaginations to be wrong?

Now how many of those times did you make those choices because you were engaged with a figment of your imagination instead of the real person? And if you allowed yourself to get to know the real person without interference from your desires, would you have done those things? Probably not.

Full disclosure… To get my imagination under control, I have to read the Word DAILY and fast once a week. That way my soulish desires can’t outweigh the Word of God that is alive in me.  I know your preacher has told you that whatever you think about, you’ll eventually do… so uh, yeah. Let’s guard our thoughts!

Read: 1 Peter 5:8, Matthew 5:28, 2 Timothy 3 and 2 Corinthians 4:1-6

Pray:

  1. Father, help us to sanctify our thoughts and bring every vain imagination under the power of Your Word.
  2. When it comes to potential relationships, help me to be sober-minded and watchful.
Being Saved, Being Single, Being Smart

My struggle with purity began before I can remember. Sometimes these things are passed down through generations and activated when a person comes of age. Let’s just say I was in full-blown bondage by the time I was 15 years old. And yes, I grew up in the church and in a two-parent home. I made straight A’s in school too. We get a little stereotype-y about these things, so let’s just clear the air right now. The devil does NOT discriminate!

I had a youth pastor at the time who was on FIRE! I used to sit on the front row, and he’d jump on the chair beside me and PREEEEAAACH! That Holy Ghost preacher spit would drop all into my curly ponytail, but I didn’t mind because I knew whatever the devil had planned would not work.

One night he preached from Deuteronomy 23:14.

For the LORD thy God walketh in the midst of thy camp, to deliver thee, and to give up thine enemies before thee; therefore shall thy camp be holy: that he see no unclean thing in thee, and turn away from thee.

Again, this message of obedience as a prerequisite for deliverance is evident. CLEAN UP YOUR CAMP! Because the Lord is coming! He’s coming to deliver you! But would you have Him stumble upon your mess?

So I can speak in parable, or I can step on toes, and the Lord told me today that I’m not writing loudly enough, so here goes:

  1. Delete the nudes: yours, his, whoever’s. Get rid of them.
  2. Unsubscribe from impure websites and anything that has become a snare to you. This may include Christian dating sites because we know ChocolateProphet69 ain’t really in love with Jesus!
  3. That incognito tab is a trap, boo. Let’s be real. If you have to use it, it’s probably for the wrong reason.
  4. Visit your social media photos, and ask the Lord which ones send the wrong message about you. If you need help, ask a friend or auntie that you know is honest and discerning.
  5. End relationships with people who pull you into impure conversation. Even if it’s just for a few days, tap that “Do Not Disturb” so you can hear from the Lord.
  6. Clean out your nightstand. The toys gotta go! That little act ain’t as secret as you think. The sin shows on you!
  7. The clothes that draw the wrong type of attention… I mean, sis, you bad, but do you have to show ALL your glory? Those clothes. Don’t trash them, but hang them in plain sight and inquire of the Lord.
  8. Whatever other item I may have missed, but is tugging on your heart… OBEY!

Read and meditate on Psalm 119:35.

Pray:

  1. Father, make it easy for me to obey You.
  2. Give me discernment so I can judge my actions  and remain on the right path.
Being Saved, Being Single, Uncategorized

Today I want to highlight a freedom that is more liberating than any other, and that’s the freedom found in Christ Jesus.

As an American, you have the right to choose your own path in life. You can attend school, worship how you see fit, vote for whomever you choose, buy and wear what you want.. You have choices. Liberty is a beautiful thing!

But for all the liberation granted in this nation,  a woman can still be trapped in her soul. And what good is the freedom to be who you want and do what you want when you have no peace or joy?

Asking God for forgiveness may bring us back into right relationship, but the soul is still worn and tired from being toyed with. A tired soul feels loneliness and guilt when its deeds are done. A trapped soul will cry on its pillow, but soothe itself by going back to the act that created the pain in the first place. What a vicious cycle!

For all you can do in this nation to express your liberty, what good is it if your soul is sad, worn, and defeated?

Paul says it best:

All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful;
all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify.
(1 Corinthians 10:23 NKJV)

Yes, my sister, you can do what you want. But is it good for you? Will it push you forward? Will it give you peaceful sleep, or will it violate your conscience?

Read: 1 Corinthians 10:23, Romans 14:17

Pray:

  1. Father, deliver me from the snares in my soul.
  2. Teach me about true liberty, and help me walk in righteousness, peace, and joy.
Being Saved, Uncategorized

After my divorce in 2009, I was demonically driven to engage in sexual activity. I thank God for being merciful to me during that time. Even though I was acting out of my brokenness, my disobedience was a stench in God’s nostrils. During that season I really began to cry out to the Lord for purity because my sin created such a rift. I literally could not close my eyes without the wrong things coming to mind.

Some of us simply struggle with the flesh. This is a natural, normal, and common battle. For others, we have become demonically inspired and even pushed into sinful acts. The devil literally made us do some things because we yielded to his power one too many times. For the latter, deliverance is needed.

Now while I believe in deliverance, I do find that believers use it as a cop out. We think we have permission to act up until God waves His proverbial magic wand, runs the demons away, and only then, are we able to live holy.

But the Scripture says in 2 Corinthians 10:6…

…and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.

WHAT IS THIS?!

God will punish all disobedience, that is He will deliver you from the evil powers enforcing their will upon yours, but ONLY AFTER YOUR OBEDIENCE IS FULFILLED. You have a responsibility to obey the Lord despite the push to do otherwise.

God will not judge the devil working in your life as long as you continue to partner with it.

Have I ever told you about the time I farted out a few demons? Don’t laugh! I’m serious!

I was in a prayer circle before a service where my spiritual father was ministering. I felt the power of God hit me in the stomach and something leave my body. They went out a few different ways. By the time I was able to stand again, I felt lighter and freer. When I left that meeting, the force that was driving me to live unholy was completely gone. Every struggle I had after that was simply flesh-driven… a much lighter battle!

Before attending that meeting, I had been seeking the Lord about my deliverance. He lead me to have some things removed from my body (might share on that another time) and taught me how to pray myself out of temptation. When I enacted those things, I was able to bring every evil thought and every rationalization of wrong into captivity. That’s when deliverance found me.

Prayer lines are wonderful. We need men and women of God to lay hands on us to drive demons out, but those types of deliverances are not lasting without our obedience to God’s word. All the oil in the world can’t change an unwilling soul. Having said that, if the individuals laying hands on us are not clean, our problems are compounded. Been there too…

You can’t buy your deliverance. You don’t have to wait until some magical moment. Your deliverance is in your obedience. Set yourself free!

Read 2 Corinthians 10.

Pray: 

  1. Keep me from every evil temptation and give me the power to yield to only You.
  2. As I read your Word, may it fill me with the desire to do Your will and cleanse me from all unrighteousness.
Being Saved, Being Single, Uncategorized

Day 2: (Un)clean Worship

God wants one thing from you. Just ooone thing. It’s not your money. It’s not your sacrifice. It’s not even your sentiment, talents, or ability to exegete (*rolls eyes*) Scripture.

He wants your obedience.

I would go to church, because I sentimentally loved God, but my mind would play back images of things I’d done that were unclean. I would raise my hands during praise and worship and ask for forgiveness over and over. I would cry and enjoy the feeling of His presence. “Oh God, you’re so good. No one can compare! I love you more than anybody or anything!” Boo hoo hoo! Sob sob sob!

But God told me my worship was foul, displeasing, and unacceptable. How could He say such a thing after I told Him I was sorry? After I washed myself in the blood? Doesn’t the blood make me clean?

Sidebar here… I’ve met Christians who say God is never harsh or direct with them. They’ve never felt the chastising of the Lord, and if this is you, I have to ask… ARE YOU TRULY A FOLLOWER OF CHRIST? Because He chastens those He loves, and chastening does not feel good. Babes in Christ may get a little softer rebuke, but eventually the Lord requires obedience.

In the Old Testament, God required a blood sacrifice to cover sin. Abel obeyed and gave the Lord what He required. Cain offered what he wanted and expected God to accept it. This sounds an awful lot like the “God knows my heart” deception that’s running through the body of Christ. If you believe that you can continually live in sin, and that God will accept your [redacted] unrepentant self as His own because you SENTIMENTALLY love Him  or because you’re always at church working/tithing/giving, then you are deceived.

To God, love IS obedience. (John 14:15)

Offering unclean worship to the Lord is like leaving meat out to spoil then throwing it on the grill thinking it won’t stink. Not only does it stink, but it attracts flies and other unwanted guests. In fact, the Bible clearly says that offering our bodies as a living sacrifice (holy and pleasing to God) is our reasonable service, or in modern day lingo, the least we can do. Paul even goes as far to say that THIS is the act of true worship.

What sort of sacrifice are you offering the Lord? Is it pleasing to Him? Are you expecting Him to accept what He does not want? What does TRUE repentance look like, and how do you get there when you may truly enjoy the compromise?

Selah.

Read Romans 12 and 1 Samuel 15

Pray and declare:

  1. I will love God more than I love sin.
  2. I will be free from uncleanness and offer God a pure and holy sacrifice.

 

Photo credit: LicenseAttributionNoncommercialNo Derivative Works Some rights reserved by Will Foster

Being Saved, Being Single, Dating & Relationships, Uncategorized

Day 1: Why Celibacy ISN’T Purity

Somewhere the message of purity has been diluted to one simple point… DON’T HAVE SEX UNTIL YOU’RE MARRIED.

Right?

And as true as that one statement may be, it’s pointed at one particular act and devoid of several truths. We love to ignore what’s not said because we can justify doing everything BUT that one thing. We shame those trapped in sexual sin or caught in its snares, but we secretly hold on to our private indulgences thinking they’ll never land us in the same (or worse) situations.

What about the M-word?

What about toys?

What about those sites those late night incognito web searches?

What about conversations that are impure?

Our thoughts and fantasies?

What about the things we agree to do in private that take us riiiiight up to that line?

What about the married man or woman that is being entertained in flirtatious conversations?

What about our rushing to the altar praying for a spouse so we can LEGALLY, but selfishly have sex?

What about the things we say, wear, do, and the pictures we take that entice others to view us sexually?  

What about the shows we watch and songs we listen to that ignite those passions in us?

What about ANY of these things are pleasing to the Lord?

It’s not about how close you can get to the act without sinning, but how far you can stay away. 

Read Psalm 24.

Prayer points:

  1. Father, give me a pure heart that I may enjoy true intimacy with You.
  2. Help me to take on YOUR righteousness and keep me from falling.
  3. Show me who I can trust as an accountability partner, and give me the boldness to reach out to them.

Photo Credit: N Medd via Compfight cc

Being Saved, Being Single, Uncategorized

How to Shamelessly Catch a Guy at Church

[dropcap style=”font-size: 50px; color: #9b9b9b;”] L[/dropcap]ast year I wrote about the ploys women use to catch a guy’s attention at the gym. Sad to say, but this happens in church as well. What better place is there to secure the right guy for you? He knows God, is humble, and possibly in ministry… right?

Hmmm…

And before you all start pointing any fingers, let me just say there isn’t ONE single man that is a member of the church I attend… maybe there is one, but he’s far too young for me. Now before you start picking apart my words and finding a loophole, let’s get to the steps.

  1. Find the right church. Now we know single, Black men are few and far between in some of our churches so you’ve got to scope out the best location. Smaller country churches with lots of married couples and a few singles sprinkled throughout are best. You might as well forget the mega-churches. Those brothers have already been scoped out, and the competition will be far too stiff.
  2. Don’t overdress. Save the bright red dress for date night, honey. Demure and attractive is best. Wear “get-em-girl” dress if you must, but then you might intimidate the heck out of your future boo.
  3. Your hair and make-up MUST be perfect. A low bun just won’t do, ladies. Whatever style you choose, be sure it accentuates your best features and glistens under the bright church lights. Make sure your lip gloss is popping, and don’t forget the waterproof mascara for when the Spirit moves you.
  4. Sit within gazing distance. You want to be where you can see him seeing you. Avoid direct eye contact, and DO NOT SIT BESIDE HIM! I saw a lady do this once. She sat her self right next to a fella and kept standing up and poking her ample bottom in his face. We’d like to think the guy continued to sit there, right? Not this guy! He got up and mooooooved!!! I cheered for him in my thoughts…
  5. You better praise Him. After all, what decent brother wants a woman who doesn’t enter in during praise and worship? I’m not saying you gotta shout and holler (please don’t), but you need to clap your hands to the beat, sing, and dance a little. Show that you don’t mind getting down for Jesus. When the Spirit gets moving and you feel a tear coming, remember to dab (not wipe) your make-up.
  6. When it’s time to greet your neighbor, head his way but completely avoid him. Hug at least one person from each of the following groups: a female close to your age, a small child, and an elderly person. And, honey, you better griiiiiinnn like there’s no tomorrow.  Whatever you do, don’t make eye contact with him. I mean your eyes need to dance around him like he isn’t there at all. He will work harder to make himself more visible later.
  7. After service is over meander at your seat, but look busy. Take your time putting away your notebooks, pens, and highlighters. Say goodbye to your closest neighbors and offer your business card (or two) to one of the married couples in the church. Gracefully head to the door. He will find his way to you even if it’s not until you reach the parking lot.
  8. If he doesn’t speak, fret not thyself. You’ve made your presence known, honey! Rest assured he’ll ask around…. more specifically to the married couple that to whom you passed the business cards. Well, played, lady. Well played.

So I’m not completely serious about this. In no way do I recommend that any woman should take these steps seriously, but if you’re willing to try, who am I to stop you? There’s nothing here that’s wrong in and of itself. But should you be so bold, make sure you find your want to the “Contact Me” tab above and share your story.

On a serious note, kingdom women who desire companionship must demonstrate self-respect. Leave all the desperation, loneliness, and attention-seeking at home in your prayer closet. On a more serious note, don’t go to church looking for a boo. Seek God, and He’ll send the right one in the right time. Yeah, I know it sucks… Ugh.

[quote]I’ve learned that any man that you attract by your own efforts will fall short of what you truly desire.
Every. Single. Time. God knows what we truly desire and need.[/quote]

 

In the meantime, ain’t nothing wrong with being a little coy…

 

With love, sincerity, and hope for your future,

 

Alana

 

Image(s): FreeDigitalPhotos.net