Notice I didn’t say I found forgiveness because forgiveness is always available for the repentant…
But my heart was so entrenched and in love with the sin, I could not stop. Even when I was able to maintain my celibacy, I still dabbled in other areas of impurity. Because I was not totally pure I believe the Lord allowed me to become involved in what I thought was a Godly relationship, but within a few months became very tumultuous.
I’m telling on myself so that I don’t go back to that lifestyle. So there’s step one. When you’re struggling in sin and you KNOW you want to come out, expose the sin. Find someone to tell what you’re struggling with and that you want to be free. The enemy dwells in secrets, and as long as his agenda is hidden you’re bound. I remember calling up one of my guy friends who is married and mature. We had a mutual friend who would come by and “see me,” and I was tired of being used. When I spoke to my friend and told him what was going on, not only did the shame leave me, but the will to continue to allow this guy use me left as well.
That takes me to step two. Yes, I believe in accountability partners, but I also believe choosing that partner should be a Spirit-led process. I also don’t think it’s wise that one person know ALL your business. I have one girlfriend that I’ll call and report to when I see temptation on the horizon. She calls me in like manner. When pressing situations arise, I ask the Lord who I should trust with the matter. Usually He has prepared that person’s heart with a merciful word and guidance. Telling the WRONG person is one of the worst things you can do, so definitely be led by the spirit of God in this. If you’re in a situation where the person you’re involved with, wants you to keep the sin a secret (because men can be like that… chile) tell anyway. He can remain in his sin, and will likely do so. But you, my sister, must come out.
Step three… I’m so sorry for this one because it will turn you upside down. Pray this prayer: “Father, in the areas of my life where I don’t love you enough, teach me to love You more.” Not only did praying this cause me to become more aware of HOW the enemy was working in my life, but it also gave me the will to stand against the enemy because I became more confident of God’s love. This prayer forced me to obedient to what the Lord commanded or suffer the consequences. Consequences are horrible, but I will stay the Lord was gracious when I suffered.
Through these things the Lord worked TRUE repentance in me, and not just the sentimental “I’m sorry” or even the faux remorseful “I’m sorry I got caught/pregnant” repentance. Over time my opinion of the sin actually changed, and what was once so enticing has now become repulsive to me.
One last note… Someone needs YOU to be mature so they can trust you with the trouble going on in their life. Stay in the Word and in prayer so when they come (because they WILL come) you can encourage them to get back on track (Proverbs 25:11).
Believing God’s opinion and being able to walk it out is the true measure of purity.
Read 1 Thessalonians 5:22 and Proverbs 22
- Father, even though I love this sin, help me to love you more.
- Show me who I can trust with this matter. Give them a word of mercy to encourage my heart to obey.
- In the areas of my life where I don’t love you enough, teach me to love you more.