Posts Tagged "sex"

Terrors in the Night: Warring Against Incubus and Succubus Spirits

Posted by on Jul 24, 2013 in Being Saved, Family, Uncategorized | 2 comments

Long before any of us have became involved in sexual sin, we battled unawares with incubus (male) and succubus (female) spirits. They come in the night to seduce us into impure dreams that we may eventually act upon on our own accord. What’s even more shocking is those who have remained sexually pure battle with terrors in the night as well. Even young children… YES… are tormented by these evil spirits because of generational curses or open doors in the home (i.e. pornography, fornication, adultery, sexual abuse, even strife, etc.). Wouldn’t you know that one of today’s most popular rap artists has on his album covered a forked-tongue succubus at the feet of his sacrilegious self-portrayal as Jesus? Heaven, HELP!

The devil’s tactics, age old as they may be, are simple. He wants you to forget that you are loved by God and one way he does this is by making us feel guilty, dirty, and ashamed. Sin and sickness often disconnects us from our faith, but what if we haven’t overtly sinned. How, then, can the enemy gain power over us? Preachers won’t talk about this. Alas, I have been commissioned.

Still not quite sure what I’m talking about? Let me share a dream-vision I had about a friend.

*inserts wavy vision and harp sounds*

He and I were discussing the possibility of a more serious relationship over video chat when I stepped clean through my laptop screen and into his bedroom. I was in two places at once… chatting with him and observing HIS surroundings. I felt the need to move forward and as I stepped into his bedroom my hair stood on end as I discerned an evil presence. In his bed was a gorgeous woman with smooth brown skin and long, silky hair. I was ticked. Why would he bother me about a relationship if our friendship was perfectly fine AND he had a boo? As I turned to leave the room, she opened her mouth and spoke the vilest, cruelest words to me through her razored teeth and over the forked tongue. This negro had a succubus in his bed.

Not long thereafter, in real life now, he began to publicly express that his pillow was talking dirty to him. Lord. Have. Mercy.

I battled with the incubus spirit regularly in childhood, teen years, and young adulthood. My last serious bout was maybe three years ago when I was seeing a fella that I just knew would be my hubby. He and I weren’t active in the sense that we went all the way, but we did enough foolishness to create a soul tie. After our break up I had a very strong sexual dream in which my body was experiencing the act all the way through orgasm. I felt horrible and ashamed the next morning, and so sick that I came out of the shame to ask someone to pray for me. Deliverance came quickly.

Just a few weeks ago a friend of mine tweeted that she felt horrible about a dream she had. I knew the Lord was leading me to pray with her, but my spirit man needed to be filled with His presence first. As I slept the Lord showed me exactly how and what to pray. I called her on the phone and said and did exactly what the Lord showed me, and as we prayed I felt fire cover me. Immediately the power of shame and rejection broke, and we both experienced the joy and peace of the Lord. This thing is real, folks.

I’m going to keep this as light as possible, but there ARE evil spirits who sexually violate us in the night. Here’s how they get in.

  • Through the power of suggestion – They seduce you with thoughts and images in your mind first. It can go on from there to pornography, masturbation, fornication, etc. If you’re battling in your mind, it’s IMPERATIVE to read and meditate on the Word DAILY!  The enemy is never satisfied with your first step into sin. His goal is to keep you going further into it until he has your soul completely gripped in darkness. Resist the devil at the entry point. He has to flee! 
  • Transference from another person – If you’ve been around some McNasties at work, some of that crap might have rubbed off. When I taught high school students, some days I’d go home with their crap burdening my soul. I’d have to pray it out and recognize it was  a trick from the enemy to make me feel as if I’d sinned.  I believe this can only happen if we are not wearing our  Ephesians 6 armor. So yeah… the Word again.
  • Through rejection – Often times when relationships end we feel rejected and dejected PARTICULARLY if soul ties were formed. The incubus/succubus spirits will come almost immediately to feed off that rejection and impregnate you with seeds of lust. My big brother and mentor in Christ explained to me that these three spirits (rejection, incubus/succubus/lust) work together to defile a believer. How to avoid this… Guard your heart diligently in relationships and forgive quickly. Bind and cast out the spirit of rejection (the strongman), and then the subsequent spirits.

If you’re having sexual dreams and you feel as if the act has actually taken place, then something is wrong!!! It’s not natural. It’s not okay. It’s rape. We understand that the body will go through hormonal changes, but be mindful that the devil deals in  hormones and thoughts. Sanctify your mind and your senses so you can properly discern a bodily function from a spirit’s abuse.

But IF this is happening to you a door has been opened and it needs to be closed immediately. You may have sinned, or you may be involved with someone who lives sinfully. Or you may be involved with someone who’s being unfaithful, and the spirit is manifesting itself in your home. You may have a spouse or a family member who moans and rocks in their sleep as if they were in the act because of previous abuse or generational curses. THIS IS NOT FROM GOD! We must war against this darkness, not in fear, but in faith and in Jesus Christ’s name. God wants us to be free from all guilt, shame, and abuse that comes from these spirits.

I won’t go into all the implications of ignoring or allowing these violations to continue as though they’re acceptable, but I will say this… Evil spirits are VERY possessive and will not easily let go if you allow them to stay. They also like to bring their buddies along. Remember the man in the Bible who had 12,000 demons (Legion) living inside of him. His problem started with one.

Just so you don’t miss my point, to maintain your freedom from these dark seducing spirits, we MUST:

  • Seek deliverance and healing from past sexual experiences including any fornication, masturbation, molestation, incest, sodomy, etc.
  • Put away pornography, fantasies, and masturbation.
  • Remove any sources of temptation including data plans on your cell phone if you must.
  • STOP abusing others for your own physical desire.
  • Turn off any form of entertainment that glorifies sexual sin and perversion. We are inundated with images and sounds that invite the enemy into our beds and bodies. Shut it off and keep your soul!
  • Cease communication with those who welcome these spirits into their lives through continuing sexual sin, especially those who call themselves Christians. (1 Corinthians 5:11)
  • Repent from all sexual sin and renounce all generational sins. This thing will attack your children if you allow it. Close the door NOW!

I’ve included a few resources below that can help you find freedom from incubus/succubus spirits or what some churches around the world call spirit wives/husbands. Ain’t that something right there?

 

A Youtube video of a teaching on incubus/succubus spirits: http://youtu.be/GHl4LXAYPww

A prayer of repentance and renunciation: Deliverance from Spirit Husbands and Wives

Audio teaching: Understanding Seducing Spirits

 

As always, your comments and questions are welcomed. Because of the particularly personal nature of this topic, emails are welcomed as well. You can contact me at consideringthelily@gmail.com. If the Lord leads, I will pray with you.

One final request, at least 3 people you know are struggling with this matter. Please pass this post on to help them find deliverance.

 

With love, sincerity, and hope for your future,

 

Alana

 

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A Sh*tty Situation: Wedding Night Story

Posted by on Jul 23, 2013 in Dating & Relationships, Uncategorized | 2 comments

A Sh*tty Situation: Wedding Night Story

 

Beads of sweat formed on my lips and brow. My body quaked with pain as I tried to control the impending sounds of embarrassment. Oh, dear God! What did I eat? My stomach churned and gurgled. I arched my feet and pressed my toes hard against the bathroom tiles in hopes to minimize the pain. The baby flipped and kicked me in the lungs knocking the wind out of me. Oh, Lord! Help me not make a fool of myself. It’s not supposed to happen like this. My bowels shifted and dropped, and though I felt relief, I was mortified.

It was my wedding night.

Earlier in the day he had asked me if I could go away with him on a business trip. I knew my mother would refuse. Even though I was of age, I didn’t want to shame her anymore than I already had. I was great with child and fresh out of college. He and I wanted to marry, but my mother asked us to wait. One of us was willing, but the other wasn’t. We switched roles depending on the day.

So Mom gave in on the advice of a friend. “You never keep love apart,” she said. “If they love each other, let them marry” she said. Oh the woes of well-intentioned, uninformed advice! So off we ran to the courthouse to sign a marriage license. While there we found business cards for justices of the peace who could perform the ceremony and within two hours found a gentleman who was willing to oblige. We took our hasty selves down to the local mall, ordered a pair of wedding bands, purchased nice outfits, and drove back to my mother’s house to get dressed.

I found this lovely Chinese collar silk blouse and skirt set. I was never much of a fan of red, but the size 10 skirt fit nicely under my rounding belly. Chinese brides wore red, so why shouldn’t I? It was a sign. This was meant to be. He found a basic white sweater and black slacks, and off we went on a cold February afternoon to our 10-minute ceremony. I was certain he loved me. I was certain that the tear he cried would ensure me and my baby a secure future. I made my vows and meant every one. We paid and thanked the gentleman for his services and off we went on his business trip. Our first night together as Mr. and Mrs. in a small hotel… cheap dinner… no chance in heck at a honeymoon… was divine in every other sense. I didn’t mind what we didn’t have. I didn’t mind because our love was official. I had papers and a ring being made to prove it.

So after our consummation (if that even means anything considering we had so much practice beforehand), my guts began to stir. I. Was. Sick. And I sat on that toilet for a good part of the evening. I showered in shame and cheap hotel soap and climbed my bare, pregnant self into bed to sleep. Good wives don’t do that sort of thing.

The next morning his phone rang with a cheery chick voice on the other end. I ain’t like that heifer. I knew she wasn’t to be trusted. He shared the news and her high-pitched “oh-that’s-so-nice-congratulations” muffled past his ears to mine. It was phony. I knew because immediately after she cheered she began whispering again. I ascertained the following…

He hadn’t told his boys. He hadn’t even told his father.

Sh*t.

 

Photo credit: Gerard Stolk via Compfight

 

 

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The Implications of Impure Christian Living

Posted by on Jun 7, 2013 in Being Saved, Being Single, Dating & Relationships, Uncategorized | 1 comment

The Implications of Impure Christian Living

I can write volumes on this topic because only recently, after so many years of walking with the Lord, I can see where I lost ground in nearly every aspect of life. This, however, is not a pity post. This is a precautionary “you-might-be-living-foul-too-time-to get-it-right-or-else” post.

Let’s be clear. The enemy wants nothing more than to utterly destroy your life. For some of us, he’ll do so by catastrophic events. But most of us, he’ll dupe into a lackadaisical, que sera sera approach to kingdom living.  We’ll pat ourselves on the back for following rudiments that make us feel good, but won’t tap into the grace that God provides to make and keep us righteous.

Who may ascend into the hill of the Lord?
Or who may stand in His holy place?
He who has clean hands and a pure heart!
Psalm 24:3-4

 

Living an impure life amounts to more than just sexual affairs. It includes self-gratification, ungodly fantasies, emotional romances, manipulating and deceiving folks into being with you… need I go on? Anything that separates you from the presence of the Lord will  cause the following issues in your life if you don’t repent. We don’t eeem need to talk about hell fire here.

Impure living hinders or delays your opportunity to marry. 

Would you give a car to your child if they kept wrecking their bike? No? Then why should our Heavenly Father give us such a precious gift as one of His own when we we do not obey Him with our own bodies? Marriage is not “satisfaction guaranteed.” It’s an institution by which God makes us more like Him. This point stings a bit, but for every time I disobeyed, I believe I got sent to the back of the waiting line. No shame here… I’m in gooood company.

Impure living prevents you from maturing emotionally and spiritually.

The mark of a mature person is their ability to delay gratification. We walk around in our 30-something bodies acting like 5-year olds. You don’t need sex to live. You don’t need to touch yourself to relieve the pressure. Struggle. Suffer. Go without. Save your soul at the expense of your temporary body!

Many times men don’t “feel” the pain from the aftermath the way women do, but the Bible clearly speaks to the impact that it has. Proverbs 31:3 says “Do not waste your strength on women, on those who ruin kings.” Any woman that you sleep with that is not your wife has the power to RUIN you. Ask Tiger. And Kobe. And Mr. Clinton. Chances are, sir, you don’t have their money so just imagine the damage that  can be done. Sit on that for a minute. No… seriously. Meditate. On. That.

Likewise, ladies, I believe these encounters cause us to lose a little bit of our glory. After the last time I fell flat on my face I quickly repented. That night I had a dream that a dirty, old man chopped off a small length of my hair. What God was saying to me was that because I had sinned in this way I lost a little of the spiritual energy and glory that He’d given me. Can I get it back? Of course! But the cost is waayyyy too high for such an unfulfilling act.

Impure living shuts the windows of Heaven.

Tithe all you want, but God will not bless a disobedient child. His desire is not for you to have the best job, home, car, clothes, etc., at the risk of your soul. He requires obedience and rewards us with His favor, and then the blessings pour in. You can be super smart, super attractive, fashionable, and financially stable but without the blessing of the Lord, you will continue to be dissatisfied in your soul. God will withhold His blessings, and He will isolate you to get you back in line.

“It was good for me that I was afflicted so I might learn your decrees.”

Psalm 119: 71

Impure living blinds us to the enemy’s tactics.

Because I wasn’t living a holy lifestyle I married the wrong person. It was virtually impossible for me to make the right choice because I was so blinded by lust and sin. You CANNOT discern and hear the voice of the Lord when your heart is full of everything but Him. That marriage cost me years of heartache and turmoil and nearly sent me to hell. But God is gracious! He delivered me in every sense of the word. You don’t know what struggle is waiting for you on the other side of that bed. And once we’re in trouble, we run to God but the sin we were in damaged our faith. If you’re in this situation, trust Him anyhow. He can and will deliver you if you’re willing to submit to His will for your life.

Impure living creates permanent bonds to people that we have no business being connected to.

The original purpose for sex is designed to permanently connect you to another person. I won’t get into all the technical issues about the image of God and man/woman/etc. but I will say this… Having sex with someone is, in essence, marrying them. No matter what your mind says, what you agree upon, what your intentions are, you are making a promise to their body and soul to be unified until the parting of death. So how many people are you married to? Without the blood of Jesus and times of fasting and prayer we cannot be victorious in the breaking of these soul ties. I also believe we pick up each others’ internal struggles, i.e. devils. I’ve found myself grappling with things that were never a problem for me before I met and got involved with a certain person. I not only had to battle my issues but his as well and drive those devils out of my life. It’s just not worth the trouble.

My hope is that you not only take away the importance of celibacy (we get that in church allll the time), but also the importance of living a clean life all the way around. Even if we aren’t shacking up and putting it down, the pornography, masturbation, and emotional affairs still make us impure in the sight of the Lord.

It’s not how far you can go without sinning, but how far you can stay away.

 

With love, sincerity, and hope for a pure and blessed future for you and me both,

 

Alana

 

Photo credit: AttributionNo Derivative Works Some rights reserved by Akiko Photography

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Love Your Wives: We’re Not THAT Complicated

Posted by on May 31, 2012 in Being Saved, Dating & Relationships, Family, For the Brothers, Uncategorized | 8 comments

Love Your Wives: We’re Not THAT Complicated

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The morning after I posted “Love Your Husbands” I received an email from one of my close writer friends. He commented that he was interested to see what I’d come up with for the men. I responded saying that the men’s list would be much shorter and simpler.

His actual reply…. “So women’s needs are less complex (looking outside to see if it’s snowing Smile)?

At the risk of folk laughing me off Twitter, Facebook, and my own website I’m going to say YES… and NO! Shoot… I don’t really know. I just had to sucker you in to reading this post.

What I can say with CERTAINTY is that most menfolk are not about to read and implement 21 different things to do for their women… It’s just not part of a man’s make up. And to be perfectly honest, if you can do a few simple things in addition to being a provider, protector, and priest of the home, we’re good to go.

If your heart is right towards your wife, then the actions will follow. Keep in mind that the Bible warns against menfolk mistreating their beloveds. God explicitly says He will not hear your prayers.

In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together.
She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life.
Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7

Selah.

Having said that , here are five things you can do to show your wife (or maybe wife-to-be) that you do really love her. Many women know they’re loved in word, but not so much in deed.

  1. Train your eyes to be only for her. I made the heavy-hitter number one on this list. Men, you’ve got to understand that no matter how strong and secure your woman is she will never be ok with you looking (and lusting) after another. That goes for real life, social media, television, websites, porn, MMS’s, Instagram, imaginative SMS’s. Some of the things that I see posted by married/engaged men are downright disrespectful. (But if your woman is cool with it, who am I to pretend like it’s not acceptable?) While you may go home to her, another woman’s image is in your head. And scripturally-speaking, that’s adultery (Matthew 5:28). Love your queen enough to divert your eyes when you see “trouble” from afar. And when she says to you “Did you see what that woman had on?” you can honestly reply “What woman?” There is a great reward for the man who can grasp and practice this concept.
  2. Respect her feelings. We know that you’re logical by nature, and we tend to be a little more feel-y. Despite what you may think, our feelings are just as relevant as your reasonings. Have you ever come home late after promising to be on time? You had the best, most logical response planned, but it just wasn’t enough to calm her. No? Man, please… you don’t have to lie to me! Let’s really be logical. If you know something you want to do will bother her, don’t do it. One thousand reasons isn’t enough to explain why you caused hurt when the situation could have been easily avoided. Honesty means next to nothing, and you’ll have to endure more than just a argument if you continue. The flip side to that is that you may feel you’re losing out and it’s unfair to you. But you promised to lay down your life, and again, there’s a reward for being considerate and kind to your bride.
  3. Try something new. I say this jokingly, but on a serious note, stop doing the same wrong thing over and over and over and over. Sorry doesn’t mean anything after the umpteenth time. If you’re going to slip up, please do so in a different and very minimal way, i.e. not replace the toilet paper roll.
  4. Unlock your phone. This right here could rival number 1. Trust is a major issue in relationships. If you are, in fact, living a life according to God’s statutes there is no reason for your phone and email to be kept private from your spouse. You’re trusting that person with your body and soul, and so it is their obligation and responsibility to cover you in those areas. If you can’t submit to that, then perhaps some fasting and separation is in order. I realize this requires a serious heart change for some, but truly, what do you have to hide? It’s going to come to light anyway.
  5. Clean her car, and make love to her. This is a two-fer. Something about a man taking care of domestic things that we ourselves are too busy to do ignites the passion in a woman. I have a friend who often comments on the reward her husband gets after taking care of the family’s dishes. Don’t complain about not getting enough if you aren’t willing to help out around the house or with the children. It really can be that simple.

So gentleman, might I suggest you choose any one item from this list and test it out. See what happens when your queen notices a change in you, and trust me, SHE WILL NOTICE!

Ladies, let me stress this to you!! Do NOT send this to your man in hopes of proving anything without first sending the “Love Your Husbands” article. Let him see that you are wiling to make some changes for his benefit before requesting he do the same for you. I might even suggest allowing him to pick a few items with which you can start. It’s alright to be transparent because none of these techniques work by magic. If he knows you’re overlooking a snide remark because you want better and not because you neeeeeed him… you can figure out the rest.

 

What does your wife need most?
Your time? Affection? A greater demonstration of your commitment to her?
Which of these items could you implement first? 

If this blog has helped you in any way, please subscribe via the form on the right hand column, SHARE this with a friend, and leave a comment. I LOVE to hear from my readers, even when you all disagree.

 

With love, sincerity, and hope for your marriage,

 

Alana

 

Photo credit: http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

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Love Your Husbands: 21 Things You Can Do to Keep Things Interesting

Posted by on May 29, 2012 in Being Saved, Dating & Relationships, Family, For the Brothers, The Best Of CTheLily, Uncategorized | 5 comments

Love Your Husbands: 21 Things You Can Do to Keep Things Interesting


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Before I was married, I remember sitting in church and hearing that scripture that tells the older women to teach the younger women to love their husbands. I thought “I just don’t understand why God would say that. Wouldn’t we love them already if we married them?”

Then I got married.

And with marriage I began to understand that this fried-chicken brown man with 9.5 of my 10 listed qualities was often unkind, insensitive, and downright unlovable. In those moments I learned it was especially important for me to demonstrate my devotion to him. I knew I’d end up divorced eventually, but God told me that he wouldn’t allow me to leave that marriage until I’d learned to treat him right when he did me wrong.

God is just so unfair at times… Just, but unfair.

Many of you have a great partner but with daily stressors,  it’s easy to overlook and under-appreciate his efforts, as meager they may be. After all, he is a man. He doesn’t do things the way you’d want him to. He’s sometimes emotionally disconnected and downright rude. Why would you want to put in extra work?

I know these sentiments well. (And to be perfectly honest, things are sooo much easier on this side. You mad? Not today? Well maybe tomorrow then…) But still, when I do marry again, I’ll have to come back to this list, swallow my pride and take care of my commitment.

Take what you can, and leave the rest…

  1. Wear something attractive when you leave the house. This includes make-up and jewelry to his tastes. Sometimes they say they like one thing when they really like another. Takes time to learn this skill, but start off small.
  2. Wear very little when you’re at home. It won’t kill your kids to see you in a halter top, sundress and leggings. No mu-mu’s, bulky bathrobes, or flannel pajamas. You don’t want him looking elsewhere, do you?
  3. Wear nothing (or next to nothing) in your bedroom. Make this a rule… please. As your children grow older, they should spend less time in your bedroom.
  4. Dismiss his jerky responses five times out of ten. After you get good at five times, work your way up to eight. Eventually he’ll get the point that he can’t touch a naked woman if he’s been a jerk.
  5. Have sex the night before or the morning of church. Ya’ll come in looking like ravenous wolves and the poor single folk can’t take any more of your abuse. If your husband is a minister, you really need to take care of him because the devil will walk in and try to catch his eye.
  6. Get in and/or stay in shape. Of course men are visual, but really, you’ll feel better about yourself and everything around you by doing this.
  7. Feed him his favorite meal… lightened up. Men like lasagna, meatloaf and stuff covered with barbecue sauce. Let him eat it, but lighten it up a little without telling him what you’ve done. And if you don’t know how to cook, then by all means, learn. Email me, and we’ll work something out.
  8. Romance him. If you don’t already know his love language, learn it and communicate it to him. If he likes to be touched, then touch him. If he needs to hear how handsome you think he is, tell him. If he likes to have his shirts ironed, then take them to the cleaners because most of us don’t do that anymore… lol.
  9. Celebrate him when he comes home from work. Brush your hair. Fix your make-up. Get the kids at the door and cheer for him as he comes in. Tell him “thank you.”
  10. Re-stock his favorite foods and drinks before they’re empty.
  11. Keep your car clean. Who am I kidding? This will never happen.
  12. Say “Ok, baby…. whatever you want” at least once a day. Get it over with early before the stresses of the day make it too difficult.
  13. Conform to his mood. If he’s being goofy, then join in. If he’s a little somber, then downplay your emotional highs. Don’t do this all the time, but it helps.
  14. Make dessert at least twice a month. You don’t want to be gluttonous, but figure out what he likes and have some every so often. If you’re doing #3 and #6, then #21 should take care of the extra calories.
  15. Send him loving texts during the day. If you could just modernize and personalize a scripture or two from Song of Solomon, that’ll do.
  16. Argue with him… logically. Now women tend to be emotional, and there’s nothing wrong with it when our emotions are balanced. But if you could just give him one good logical argument, you’ll watch his jaw drop. This really is more for you than him, but do it anyway.
  17. Play dumb sometimes. A man’s self-esteem is important. Sometimes, when you know he’s wrong, play dumb instead of demanding the truth. Getting him to admit something shameful (or pressuring him and causing him to lie) may be more damaging than just overlooking it and playing dumb. A “Hmmm… I wonder how that happened” should suffice.
  18. Don’t argue with him in front of the kids or talk about him in a negative way. You probably have a friend or two with whom you can vent, but be sure these people won’t carry your tales or treat him differently when they see him.
  19. Be faithful to him. In word, emotion, deed, sexually… all that.
  20. Have a quiet spirit. Being overly emotional and excitable will cause him to shut allll the way down when you need him to communicate.
  21. Have sex. You don’t have to make love allllll the time. I think men get tired when we make an event of everything, and so they resort to simpler measures. You don’t want to discourage your mate with your “romance novel” fantasies just like you don’t want him bringing porn star images to bed.

Fret not, ladies. A list is coming for your dear hubbies, but if you want him to read it, you should get a head start on a few of these items.

Which items are easy for you? Which are challenges?
Is there anything you’d like to add?

Please please please comment and share your thoughts and forward to your friends even if it’s just for giggles.

 

With love, sincerity, and hope for lasting marriages,

 

Alana 

P.S. I will not be accepting any marriage proposals via text, email, Twitter, Facebook, or GChat. I will, however, accept “thank you” cards and gifts from men whose lives have benefited from the list, even if the benefit is nominal.

Photo credit:

Free images from FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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