Posts Tagged "soul ties"

Thirsting

Posted by on Apr 13, 2012 in Being Saved, Being Single, Uncategorized | 4 comments

Thirsting

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She was a Samaritan.

She was promiscuous.

She was churchy.

 

This poor woman has been lambasted in pulpits everywhere. She is considered to be nothing more than a loose and undignified woman, yet we overlook the most vital elements of the story.

 

She was thirsty.

 

And all of us are thirsty for something.

 

It’s a fact that humans can live for weeks without food, but only three to five days without water. How much more will spiritual thirst drive us to seek relief from these so-called “tall drinks of water”?

 

I won’t go as far to say that I admire the Samaritan woman, but I do understand her. Five times married. Sixth man shacking up… She hoped in love, couldn’t find it, yet kept on trying.

 

I’ve been there. Well, only married once… But countless times I’ve sought for love.

 

Back at the well, a place where only single and unattached women were to be found, she met Jesus. Think back to when Abraham’s servant sought a wife for Isaac… where did he go? To the well, and there he found Rebekah. Where did Jacob first see Rachel? Again, at the well. Where do you go when you want some attention at work? To the proverbial water cooler…

 

So why would a woman who lived with a man be at the well if she was already “involved”?

 

For the same reason many of us run to the club. Or wear revealing clothing.  Or take new photos for Facebook and Instagram everyday. Or lay ourselves down in hopes that he or she will love us. Or tell someone we love them knowing we do not.

 

Many of us are unfulfilled, dissatisfied, and disappointed. We’re thirsty.

 

We have a deep desire to be loved and deeply cherished, not just “chose”. (Chose is twitter terminology for being good enough to be picked by someone to be in a relationship yet the term does not communicate anything about the quality of the relationship. It simply means you’ve got somebody which, to me, means very little.)

 

And here comes Jesus, with his smooth line…

 

“If you knew who is speaking to you right now, you’d ask me to give you water. And if you ask me, I’ll give it you and you’ll never thirst again.”

 

In hood vernacular, “You ain’t never met nobody like Me.”

 

Every time I read that line I smirk. Say what you want about my Lord, but He knows how to talk to a woman.  You can’t tell me that sister from Samaria didn’t melt. No wonder she had to come up with all that crap about where and how to worship. She was nervous!

 

But back to the story. Place yourself at that well for just a moment. Look deep down and consider whether the thing you’re desiring is at the bottom. You already know what’s there. You’ve been drinking from it for how long?

 

Now look at the bucket. Can such a small vessel possibly hold the fullness of what you desire? Certainly not!

 

Now turn your eyes to Jesus… He is the seventh man in the story. He is offering exactly what you need. He will fill YOU so that you need not come back to the well for something that temporarily satisfies! He will fill complete you, perfect you, and mature you so that you can help someone else.

 

I must leave the well. Single and unattached, I may be but there’s nothing at the well for me.

 

Your well may not be the same as mine. But consider… the lilies… and your secret longings. God is faithful to give you those desires, but not until we have turned to Him and allowed ourselves to be filled by His love and grace.

 

With sincerity, love, and hope for the future,

 

Alana

 

Scripture references: John 4, Genesis 24, Genesis 29

Photo by Kashif Mardani from Flickr

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Dying, He Saved Me

Posted by on Apr 6, 2012 in Being Single, Dating & Relationships, The Best Of CTheLily, Uncategorized | 0 comments

Dying, He Saved Me

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I don’t think it’s strange that the anniversary of my first blog post is on Good Friday, the day they crucified Your son. I was so discouraged this time last year and needed an outlet. For some reason Good Friday has always been full of sorrow and grief in my personal life. But, Lord, to write this… to tell THIS story almost seems You’re asking too much.

 

I don’t understand it, but I will obey. Because when I consider where I was two years ago today and four years ago today, I can’t help but thank You for keeping me.

 

Four years ago April 6, I made the choice to end my marriage. I knew things weren’t right. I wasn’t even emotional about it because I’d done so much crying before. Divorce was the only option because I didn’t want hate him. Even now, I know I made the right choice, but the journey from that place to where I am now has been…

 

Indescribable… but I will obey.

 

Two years ago, another promised that he loved me. I didn’t believe him. He was one of those guys that just played games. He wanted to do right, but his arrogance and jacked up experiences with women wouldn’t let him. Yet he pressed and pushed his way into my soul. And because I was lonely, I let him.

 

I remember going to church and hoping that the pastor would preach something profound and powerful enough to keep me from dating this guy again. We’d been at it before. I didn’t want to go back down that path, but I was still entangled. And that damned loneliness…

 

His tall and statuesque frame intrigued me. Straight lust… might as well call it what it is. His face… ehhh. Not particularly my type of guy, but all the other ladies loved him. So surely I should be glad he wanted me. By the world’s standards he was a good man, but something just wasn’t right for me.

 

Lord, I didn’t know my worth. I couldn’t comprehend that Your love for me exceeded what he could ever offer. He made me feel good. I can understand how David felt with Bathsheba. I think all of us have chosen someone or something over You at some point. The fact that I had grown so much, yet I still turned my back on You frightens me. I could mess up again… but I trust Your grace to cover me.

 

That night… he didn’t call. We’d made plans. He asked me to move with him. I’d said no, but he insisted that I must love him. He insisted that he loved me. I could’ve made it work with him. I certainly wouldn’t have had any concern for money. Do you remember my prayer that morning? I asked if he were the one for me. And if not, then show me.

 

You told me to get dressed. And I did. I got in the car and drove. You led me to drive and…

 

There it was.

 

His bright blue, tricked-out Chevy Malibu. At a hotel. I couldn’t have missed it if I tried.

 

I had a choice. To take the Jasmine Sullivan route, or to be patient and wait for answers. Either way it would be crazy. But I knew I had to stay. Because this would be the LAST time he’d force his way into my life. He needed to see that I was done. I prayed that whatever woman he was with had already left because I couldn’t handle a two against one battle. I was already weak.

 

So I called… cleverly left a message that I was headed to the gym which was conveniently located right next to the hotel where he’d lodged. And like roaches scatter in the light, he came scurrying out.

 

He saw my frustration. Saw my pain. Dropped his head. He refused to respond to my questions. Instead of listening to those raging voices in my head, I drove away.

 

I died that day. I was crucified by my own choices. My soul was cast down. I could not hope in You because I had turned my back on You.

 

And, Lord, I couldn’t hear You, feel You, discern You. My faith took a fatal blow and my spirit man had been all but torn asunder. Satan’s minion had taken his sharpest sword and nearly sliced my soul in two. His demons tormented me and consulted me to plunge from my bedroom window to the ground below.

 

I searched for You. You were there, but I couldn’t find you.

 

And, therein lies the problem with sin. I didn’t consider that when I got up from the bed of sin that Your presence had departed from my life. It didn’t occur to me that my faith had been so damaged that I wouldn’t be able to approach Your throne.

 

I watched the window for a good 20 minutes, even looked down. Lord, it must’ve been you that said “It won’t do the job.” I’d just end up with a broken bone or two… definitely not comparable to the death I felt inside. So I got back in the car and drove…

 

It was Sunday and usually I wouldn’t miss church, but the night before I had been tormented. Even more so now…

 

I was consumed with grief, self-hate, anger. You led me there, and Your people consoled me. They loved me and dried my tears. Oh, God! I remember how so many ran to my rescue. Some said it would be ok…I knew that wasn’t true. Lord, I knew that if I didn’t get this right in my life, I’d be condemned to hell here on earth and in the afterlife. Yet, I was thankful for their kindness and consolation.

 

I made it back home in pieces and rested. I did not eat for days. I read my Bible and listened to one song over and over. My soul, God, was thirsty for You. I could only fight to regain my peace in hopes that my faith would be restored. I needed to be in Your presence.

 

Your Word came. It was heavy and hard to receive. It discouraged me emotionally, but my spirit cleaved to it. Anyone who knows You understands that a rebuke from the Lord is like a feast compared to never hearing Your word at all. Just the fact that You spoke… I thank You.

 

How unsightly I must have been… to have known You and chosen something lesser that only intended to destroy me.

I’m sorry. 

To have given myself to someone so undeserving. He didn’t even know You.

I’m sorry.

To presume that he could offer me a portion of what Your presence provides.

I’m sorry.

 

But looking back, Lord. I understand now that the rebuke you sent gave me a choice. The scripture says that You will not put on us more than we can bear. But I had put this on myself, and it was certainly more than I could carry. You gave me a choice, at that point, to face my brokenness and transform my own suffering into Your suffering. One would work a brighter future for me, while the other would render me helpless and hopeless.

 

…For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.

 

I chose Your suffering. Because if I suffer with You, I’ll reign with You. That’s Your promise, and You’ve never lied.

 

And, so today, Good Friday, April 6, 2012, I can confidently say that I stood against each of his three advances since that time. I can say that I’m no longer on life support, but I’m living and loving. I can say that 2011 was the last year that April 6 would destroy me because I’ve discovered Your resurrection power. No longer am I entangled or even enticed by these lusts… My heart belongs to You.

 

I cannot imagine surviving this life without You. So many, Lord, are heart-broken and tormented daily. They cannot hear Your voice. And, it is my prayer that as I share my shame, someone who identifies with my pain will turn to You because You are surely there with them. Some have stories much worse than my own, and some feel there is no forgiveness for what they’ve done. I pray that they would come to know the truth!

 

With great joy and victory, I thank You! No longer am I heartbroken, sad, or lonely. You’ve filled my heart with promises, and my faith and peace in You grow everyday. I ask, Lord, that You do the same for my brothers and sisters, and for those who don’t yet know You.

 

Let this story, as unpleasant as it may be, bring glory to Your name because You are faithful…. You saved me. Thank You!

 

In Jesus’ name,

 

Amen

 

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Entangled: The Reason You Can’t Let Go

Posted by on Jul 20, 2011 in Being Single, Dating & Relationships, Uncategorized | 2 comments

Entangled: The Reason You Can’t Let Go

 

Notice that in the title I used the word can’t… not won’t…. because one literally lacks the power to break free.

Let me paint a picture for you.

Imagine a beautiful, colorful butterfly floating freely in a meadow. It dances across the tops of lilies and violets fulfilling its purpose in life without any care or concern in the world, but one… the search of love. In its course of duty the butterfly crosses the path of a dark, mysterious spider who weaves a silken web of words and deeds to win the butterfly’s heart. Butterfly, naive as it may be, is still cautious of getting too close to the spider… after all flies get trapped with those things. Not beautiful butterflies! Nonetheless, butterfly is intrigued by spider’s enticing and glistening web. What’s more is that spider has eight arms with which to hold our floating friend…. and many eyes to see the need in butterfly’s longing soul.

Spider entices butterfly to lean in for a kiss, and weakened by the words and gentle caresses of our savvy antagonist, butterfly finds itself trapped in spider’s web. For a while, it seems nice to have another close by… But as spider closes the space between them, butterfly finds itself even more stuck in spider’s web. Butterfly enjoys the feeling of security. I mean, who wants to fly freely when you can be so deeply and passionately loved and appreciated? Relishing the feeling of being wanted, butterfly spreads its wings to embrace spider and finds itself completely and overwhelmingly entangled… 

Butterfly croons “This must be love.”



Notice in the tale above there are no “he’s” or “she’s”. I realize that most of us will associate butterfly with a female, but I’m just using it to illustrate the well-meaning, but weak character who longs for love and will settle. Guys, if it makes you feel better, you can be a dragonfly.

Spider, well… you get that! Spider is the charmer that reels you, tells you all the things you want to hear, and gets you trapped! What’s more is that a spider will leave you stuck in the web, build a web elsewhere, trap some other well-meaning insects, then come back to feast on your self-esteem when it’s hungry.

So are you a trapped member of the lepidoptera phylum? (Nerd speak… sorry.) This entry is for those entangled and unable to let go of someone who only creates hurt and shame. Am I speaking of romantic love? Possibly… but I feel that entanglements can happen in ANY relationship. At the moment, I can say that I have female friends with which I’ve become far too entangled in their affairs of life. Instead of being a support system, I’ve become the source of life… They suck me dry!

But romantic relationships are, by far, the trickiest. How can you tell whether there’s real love in place versus an unhealthy attachment of souls? Let’s go back to our characters and study their habits.

  1. It feels like it’s meant to be even when everything goes wrong. It can feels so good to be attached that we nurture the feeling instead of the relationship. Butterfly and spider have a natural and powerful connection in nature, but theirs is a predator-prey relationship… not a partnership. Discern your purpose in spider’s life. It’s never to get caught in the web.
  2. You think spider’s trapped in the web too, but you realize he/she is much more adept at handling sticky situations than you are. Remember that spider weaved the web. While you may think he or she is as in deep in love as you are, take note to how easily they side step when you need them. I knew a guy who would tell me a thousand times over the phone and text that he loved me, but would NEVER say it to my face. Talk about a side-stepping somebody…
  3. Spider won’t leave you alone… for long. I asked this same person to leave me alone SEVERAL times. For months I didn’t contact him or respond to any of his advances. He persisted all the more. I gave in for a short time, then quickly came to my senses. When I told him where he could go with all his crap, he sent me back a polite “No.” LOL… Took some time but I think he’s gotten trapped in his own web. What matters most is that I’m not in it with him!
  4. You think of them, and they contact you. You can feel the stringy web start to vibrate your wings as spider stealthily approaches the web. ]You can literally feel the person thinking about you. Your soul knows it, and your body knows it.  Usually these kinds of connections come from sexual contact, but if you’ve ever made a promise to “love forever” you’ve opened yourself to that soul tie. Then, at times, that still small  voice may warn you to prepare yourself… because that still small voice knows that you’re entangled.
  5. You start weaving a web of your own. Quite possibly the most convincing evidence anyone may have of entanglement is that you become like your predator. You learn their tricks and start trapping a few empty souls of your own to feast upon. Natural animal response, right? But you’re not an animal. God has equipped you with a conscience and sensibilities. Your broken heart does not permit you to break others’…
  6. You miss your floating freedom, but you don’t want to let go. A true loving relationship won’t stifle your inner peace and freedom. I remember sitting beside a guy and watching a movie and thinking “I wish we would just end this.” I felt so boxed-in, but not because of anything he did in particular. We had just moved too fast (and this was without sex), and I felt forced to keep up the charade. When we did part ways, it was UGLY! But at least I’m free… at least I think I am. (I really am pondering this…)

I doubt that anyone who’s read this can honestly say they’re free from ANY entanglements. Naturally, some are good, but we must relieve ourselves of relationships that leave us empty and unsatisfied. Some of us are entangled in more than one web which truly explains why we have no inner peace or confidence.

 

I didn’t write all of this just to leave you dazed in your circumstances… but the first step to freedom is acknowledging that you are, indeed, entangled, and not in love. Love gives, not takes away.

 

So how do we become free? Well… I need more time to think about that. Until then, let’s all investigate those closest to us and figure out who’s got the wrong kinds of strings attached to our wings.

 

 

Love you all… and with that, I bid you goodnight.

 

 

 

Your cybersister,

 

 

Alana

 

 

P.S. Special thanks to my Jiminy Cricket who gave me an idea of the butterfly and spider relationship…

 

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“He’s a good man, but….”

Posted by on Jul 15, 2011 in Being Single, Being Smart, Dating & Relationships, Uncategorized | 3 comments

It seems many of you are reading on the sly, but I’m proud to say I have almost 1000 hits! AND I’ve made it to Pakistan. Hi, Naila! And Australia… What’s up, Sean? And to a few other places in Europe. I don’t know who’s reading there, but I’m hoping you ALL stay with me. And would you be so kind as to pass me on? :)
I have one more piece of business before I carry on with today’s controversial title. I just want to make it perfectly clear that I am NOT in any way searching for romantic love. Yes, I want it, but looking for it is not the way to obtain it. Having said that, I know it’s close by… I keep looking at my left ring finger expecting a big, shiny rock to blind me. Soon enough… it will happen.
So why am I writing all this kraziness? Well for one, it’s therapeutic for me. Two, it may be therapeutic for you. At the very least you’ll discover that you’re not the only nutty person on the planet. And three, to help somebody else with my personal experiences… I didn’t go through all this crap for nothing!
But I’ve delayed long enough. On to the topic at hand!
I think it is EXTREMELY important to find the best in people. I try to always let a person know what I think is great about them. If he’s handsome, I’ll tell him. If he’s smart, I’ll let him know. If I’ve got to dig really deep to find something good to say to a person, I give them a compliment on faith. Faith kind of works like credit… you tell them what they could become to move them forward. People need to feel valued, and even though you may not be around long, it’s best that you treat the other person with the utmost dignity and respect.
But!! Oh my goodness… what a big BUT (and I’m not talking about Serena’s) we have to discuss!
Every person, regardless of how much good they have, has some bad. Most of us just let it hang out, while a few who want to do right try to keep it tucked away. So yes, when you spend time with someone you’ll find both good and bad. But where should the line be drawn?
These are the pieces I’ve found in men & women that indicate there WILL be trouble up ahead. And a wise man sees trouble from a long distance and HIDES himself. You got that? Yeah, that’s Bible for ya!
  1. There are TOO many friends of the opposite sex. Now if the person is active in a community like church or work, you may see this trend, but that’s not what I’m discussing. But if you’re seeing crazy FB posts and tweets, don’t ignore them. If that person is sitting beside you and trying to sneak text, don’t ignore that either! (Had to get that out!) You’re just one of the bunch. I guess being one of many is okay if you’re not serious about settling down. But knowing how ladies can be, most of us do want that security. So if he’s a good man with too many female friends (and the converse), and you can’t meet those friends in a reasonable time, said person is not the one for you! In the sweetest kindest manner possible, walk away and don’t look back.
  2. Her or his recent past is jacked up. I know a REALLY sweet guy whose last two years have been laced with one bad decision after another. I’m in NO position to judge, and he gets the utmost respect from me because he keeps his head held high. However, just because I’m intent on remaining nonjudgmental does NOT mean that I should ignore what’s going in his life. The bottom line is this. We all pay for the bad choices we make, and if you know a person consistently makes bad choices, they won’t start making good ones just because you’re in the picture. And unfortunately consequences can last a lifetime. How willing are you to help someone else pay the price for their wrong-doing? That’s a rhetorical question that you really should take the time to answer. (Ow!)
  3. He or she is seething with anger and bitterness. I know men say that women are bitter, but if you’ve ever met a divorced man, you’ll quickly discover that they take bitterness to a whole new level. I mean… they want you to be mad at the ex-wife who cheated on them years ago. I ain’t mad at her! You still love her. Go back and deal with that!
  4. She or he has low self-esteem. It’s easy to tell a woman with low self-esteem in most cases. I think it’s safe to say 90% of us suffer from it at one time or another. But a man with low self-esteem is often very hard to identify. Here’s how to tell for both sexes…. they can’t accept compliments, they don’t give any compliments, they don’t call when they say they will, they bring up sex when it has nothing to do with anything, they claim you’ll become addicted, they fall too fast and too hard, they entertain others with low self-esteem, they are a control freak, they run through several boyfriends or girlfriends in a short period of time, they do a disappearing act. Anything that exerts unnecessary power in the relationship or boosts their ego is a definite sign someone is struggling with his or her self-worth. People with self-esteem issues need to work through those problems ON THEIR OWN. Plus low self-esteem is also the leading cause of infidelity in relationships. Do I have a statistic back that up? No, I have personal experience. Good enough for you?
  5. You’re being blamed for issues that belong to them. This has happened to me twice today, quite possibly because I knew I needed to write about it. People play this game to manipulate. I HATE manipulation. Don’t give in to this foolishness. Like I said in another post… speak the truth and end the conversation. If you can’t do that, just end the conversation and don’t look back. This person’s feelings are not worth sparing.
I’m sure you can come up with many more negative qualities that may outweigh the good ones, but I bet they’ll fall into these categories… with the exception of one. “He’s a good man, but he’s gay.” This is quite possibly THE most disappointing of all the statements but there really isn’t a darn thing you can do about any, now is there? Lol…
My hope is that you found this entry balanced and informative. This is, by no means, male or female-bashing, but is an investigation as to why we ignore the most obvious signs of future demise. Turning a blind eye won’t make the problem go away. Honor what’s good in a person, but don’t get caught up in what could be.
Share your thoughts…
Your cybersister,
Alana
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Other Side of the Game

Posted by on Apr 13, 2011 in Dating & Relationships | 1 comment

Other Side of the Game

“Don’t worry, baby. I know there’s confusion. God’s gonna see us through yeah…”

I love the tune and the soulful crooning of a lovedrunk Badu, but when I break down the lyrics (i.e. overanalyze), I wonder why so many of us women end up on the other side of an ugly game. I know she’s talking about the drug game in the song, but I’m using my blogtistic license here.

It’s an epidemic. Woman meets man. Man turns on game. Woman falls for game. Man reveals that he’s playing and blames woman for falling because she should’ve known better. Woman sticks around dissatisfied, disgruntled, and disillusioned hoping for the impossible. Yeah, I know women run game too, so guys, apply accordingly.

So, ladies & gents, where do we go wrong when we meet a potential love? I could write ten steps to choosing the wrong person to love, which I’m TOTALLY qualified to do… Or I could just let Badu do the talking.

“It ain’t that he don’t have education cuz I was right there at his graduation.”

So, he’s got an education? He gets some respect for that. He works hard? That’s even better! But is he demonstrating what he’s learned at whatever level of education he’s attained? Potential is never good enough. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not one of those educated snobs who only talks to men with the degree qualifications that meet or exceed my own. I tend to find many highly-educated men… well, boring. But nothing’s worse than a flirty brother with poor spelling, poor grammar and a lot to say. We all get those messages on Facebook that are hard to decipher. “You used to look good in high school but now you still do too.” Yeah, that’s in my inbox. I have yet to reply.

“But it’s me and baby that he hurts.”

So he loves you so much that he keeps doing what hurts you and hurts the kids too? Let me guess. He’s either doing it for you or he can’t help it. Badu needs to read “The Doormat People.” She’s an accessory to her own victimization, and the children will only resent her later.

“Because I tell him right, he thinks I’m wrong. But our love is strong.”

Sorry, Badu. Even the good ones don’t want to know when they’re wrong. That’s just the nature of a man. Even my six-year old son has to always be right. If he puts his underwear on backwards, he’ll argue with me even though he can’t find a way to pee straight. But there is a way to let a man know when things are starting to sour… that’s another blog for another day.

“Gave me the life that I came to live.”

What the heck? No, he didn’t. JESUS did that! Get your priorities straight…

“Pressure’s on me, but the seed is grown. I can’t make it on my own.”

A real man will always take the pressure OFF, and he’ll never take your power away by planting seeds of insecurity. God gave man authority, but the woman has power. Wield it wisely, ladies. Never give away what God has given you!

Let’s backtrack to when Erykah first met this fella. At some point she knew that he had some other stuff going on and decided  to roll the dice anyway.  Why would anyone ignore the obvious signs? Well, loneliness can get the best of us. But one thing is certain; desperation landed our beloved Badu in another bad relationship. (And when I say Badu, I mean krazy me and maybe krazy you too…) Not too long thereafter, she’s telling her boo that he needs to call Tyrone…

So how do we keep ourselves on the other side of the game? If we want love, do we have to play along? I will admit I’ve gone out with people that I didn’t really like for boredom’s sake. One guy (who’s reading from his iPad) posted on Facebook that a certain woman (me) was making him rethink his game. Just that admission has disqualified him from having a chance at spending anymore time with me. (Angry text ensuing…)

I’ve discovered a few tactics to maintaining a “game-free” life. So here goes. If you meet someone and think you might be interested…

  1. Listen for what he wants. I like to know what a man ultimately wants from a relationship. Some day (not any time soon), I’d like to be married again. If he never wants to be married, then we don’t have the same aspiration, and I’ll end up wasting my time if I continue with him. People tend to be more honest early on because the stakes are low. Believe a person when they tell you or show you who they are.
  2. Listen for how he wants it. You want to know what his religious and moral beliefs are, but other convictions matter too. Life perspective is a HUGE consideration for me. For example, I subscribe to the “Life is short, so do it right the first time” way of living. I can’t be with someone who subscribes to the “Life is short, so live it up at all costs” way of living. Judgments aside, it just doesn’t work.
  3. Listen to how much he’s saying. Does he talk too much? One of my associates talks so much that he just bores me to tears. He’s a sweet guy, but boring! Does he talk too little? Ummm… did you call me so I could listen to you watch the basketball game? I have better things to do… like talk to myself. Does he do a disappearing act and a random check-up to make sure you don’t forget him? Play along for fun, but don’t get sucked in… LOL!
  4. Listen to what he’s NOT saying. Recently a fella asked me what I’d heard about him because I didn’t seem to be interested. My response: “What have you done that you don’t want me to know about?” Oh… and there’s the guy who has options. What he’s not saying is that if I don’t give him what he wants, he can get it elsewhere. My response: “Use your options. Not me…”
  5. Listen! That means be quiet!  Smile outside and scream inside. Think critically, but don’t breathe a word of it. Instead, ask a follow-up question. And don’t tell him too much about your personal convictions up front. Guys with weak game always play the “me too” game. If I say that I’m a Christian, he says “Oh yeah? Me too!”

With all of that said, there is hope for those us want the real thing. There’s no need to settle for a silly player and then ask God to bless our mess. Eventually Badu had to put Tyrone out, but only after suffering more damage than any person should sustain.

I won’t say that my transition to this point was quick or even easy. I won’t even say that where I am now is all that much fun. It’s been a while since I’ve been on a date that I’ve truly enjoyed. But what I can say is that I’m not lonely, and I enjoy possessing my soul. And when the time comes for my future husband to enter my life, I will be ready because I kept myself on the other side of very dirty and damaging game.

For those of you struggling, my heart goes out to you… Here’s some encouragement from a more positive and empowering song.

I’m coming out of krazy and taking all the broken-hearted Badus with me…
Your cyber-sister,
Alana
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