Posts Tagged "summer"

Manage Your Expectations: Unwritten Dating Rules for Summer 2012

Posted by on Jun 22, 2012 in Being Single, Dating & Relationships, Uncategorized | 4 comments

Manage Your Expectations: Unwritten Dating Rules for Summer 2012

Another summer is upon us, and I certainly have grown since last year. You? Last year, we talked about lowering your expectations (in a sarcastic way of course), but this year we’ll just manage them.

We expect far too much or far too little from folks without allowing them to be who they are. No one needs to change to please you or even answer for who they are. We simply must observe what is and make an informed decision.

I’ve managed to remove most negative influences, both male and female from my circle, and though I’m not dating at this point, I figured I could offer some dating rules for summer 2012 for those of you who are. Actually I just wanted to give you a few snickers and “smizes” as my Twitter friends say.

So here are the top 9 (maybe you have 1 more) Unwritten Dating Rules for Summer 2012…

  1. Don’t you dare sext! A quick glance through folks’ Twitpics will reveal that the person on the other end is not quite as trustworthy as you think. And mistakes do happen. You don’t want to be a casualty.
  2. Auto-correct is of the devil. Who stores all those dirty words? Oh, that’s right… You do! Take a second to double-check before hitting “send.”
  3. God speaks through Swype. It’s funny… whenever I add  a new contact to my phone, a word other than their name pops up. For example, if I swype “John” the word “scum” may pop up. Hear ye the voice of the Lord!
  4. You don’t have to give everyone your number. GChat, FB chat, Twitter DM’s are sufficient for the first few questions. Once you give them your number, you’re locked in to the “keep” or “delete” struggle and ultimately the “Who is this?’ conversation once you do delete them.
  5. Twitter and FB should not be primary sources for acquisition of dating advice. Even those super churchy folk that always tweet about relationships can be wrong. I’ve learned some things here and there, but when it comes down to it, submission to the Holy Spirit trumps all.
  6. Ignore the overly-confident folks that are in relationships. While some of them got it right, others just got lucky, but the masses are settling. Don’t let them make you feel bad no matter how hard they try.
  7. At the introductory conversation, ask no more than 2 or 3 questions. If they don’t reciprocate, then back off. Choose simple questions that aren’t too personal. The first few conversations should be light and pressure-free.
  8. Dating is not necessary for an enjoyable summer. Some of us live in areas where suitable datees are few and far between. Others of us have different priorities. Romance is great, but having money is too. Find new ways to spend your time and energy.
  9. Don’t hate on the friend zone. It’s hilarious to me how much people hate “just being friends”, but I feel strongly that the best relationships have a firm foundation of friendship. If a man or woman won’t first be your friend, they won’t stick around to build anything significant. Furthermore, you REALLY get to know the person instead of being blinded by your lusts and desires. I mean, you can have a relationship with them inside your head and no one will know… whatever suits you. Disagree with me? That’s cool… get your own blog. (Really, you can just comment below and tell me why you think this is wrong. I’m interested in hearing why.)
  10. Ummm… I’m tapped dry. What would your number 10 be?

Share in the comments section below, and let’s see if we can’t make sense
of what we’re doing before we jump too far too fast.

 

With love, sincerity, and hope for a reasonably hot summer,

 

Alana

Image(s): FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Read More

Lower Your Expectations: The Unwritten Dating Rules for Summer 2011

Posted by on Jun 26, 2011 in Being Single, Dating & Relationships, Uncategorized | 0 comments

Everybody’s got the bug! Summertime, hot as it may be, has us wanting to find a (not-so) special someone with which we’d like to enjoy the season’s pleasures. In our desperate attempts to find the right match-up, we put up with less than the best.

Having chatted with some of my friends, male and female, here are some of the WORST unwritten (until now) rules of dating that have been displayed or said.

  1. You must have a pic to send me on-demand. And if I sext you, you sext back… no questions asked.
  2. I will classify you as boo, friend, homie, etc. I reserve the right to demote you without notice.
  3. I will romantically invite you out on a whim, but eventually I will disappear on you at regular intervals. You aren’t the only one I’m entertaining.
  4. When I tell you that I love you, believe me even though you know I’m full of crap. “Real talk…”
  5. After some time away from you, I will text “I miss you.” The proper response will be “I miss you too.”
  6. I’m going to say hateful things to you via text and chat, but put an LOL or LLC on the end… That means you can’t get mad.
  7. I will end the relationship, unofficially, when I find someone who will give it up, but I’ll still text and call you in case that doesn’t work out. He/she doesn’t have to know.
  8. I’m only going to call late at night when my other boos aren’t available. That’s the best time to convince you to give me what I want.
  9. Expect to hear from me before your time of prayer and worship. You’re feeling most forgiving during those times. I will also text you on generic holidays, but I’m going to forget your birthday on purpose… too expensive.
  10. Even though I know you will be done with me before long, I’m going to comment on all your photos and status updates to make sure you don’t forget about me.
  11. Don’t try to delete me from your phone or any social networking site. I will find out, become indignant, and harrass you elsewhere.
  12. When all is said and done, I will self-righteously and angrily tell you all your faults and then delete you from my phone… but I’ve still got your email. If you ever text me, I will respond “Who is this?”

So what do you do with a person who displays such an attitude of entitlement? BLOCK! DELETE! RUN! HIDE! UNFOLLOW! DEFRIEND!

Whatever you have to do, get away! Any person who has such a sense of entitlement will only make you weary in the end.

Besides, if you’re going to the beach, why take sand?

I’m coming out of krazy and staying out by avoiding those with skewed values… Here’s to hoping you’ll join me!

Sisterly,

Alana

Read More