Being Smart, Uncategorized

Are You a Social Media Superstar?

This photo is a screencap of my Twitter mentions.

I cannot begin to point fingers in this arena because I have played a guilty part in overindulging in social media. For the late-70’s and 80’s babies  our lives have become embedded in smart phones and other devices that keep us synced to our “friends” and “followers.”

Social media is ever-evolving, so we must adjust accordingly. Facebook was originally purposed for college students. NOW, we have our grannies and nieces and nephews online with us. Annoying, right? Since the audience has changed, so should the content! Each social media site also serves a different function and so what we place on one site may not be right for another. I’m partial to Twitter where I can follow individuals who tweet about things that I enjoy… like food, love, Chemistry. (They fit together nicely, no?) Google+ indulges my geeky, giggly side, and Facebook is where I go for the warm fuzzies. That’s just my use, and if I should do any mixing— nah. That can’t happen. However you use your “superstar status” remember that it represents YOU, and you will be jud–critiqued– according to your posts.

Over time, my addictions have waned, and I’ve come to find the fronts of Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ somewhat of an annoyance through no one else’s fault but my own. I doubt many of you would share my sentiments regarding your own behavior (no one likes to self-assess), but at the very least, you can reconsider a few points. Maybe?

  • The more friends you have, the broader the network. Share purposefully. Your network is broader than the couple hundred (or thousand) folks you call friends. The news ticker, subscriptions and sharing options of Facebook now make your influence reach farther than you may want. So make your posts count! People should look forward to reading what you have to say, and not skip over because they know it’s another vague and emotional “life lesson.” You are truly free to post what you want, but remember that it’s not YOUR page. Like it or not, it’s all public. You own nothing but the right to withhold your thoughts which should be exercised liberally. Copy/paste functions and screen caps greatly abound. I’m guilty of using them myself when I see foolish things. (One of you is lucky I didn’t make your silly posts my featured photo.)
  • As far as photos are concerned, LESS IS MORE! My Facebook friends’ list at one point only consisted of family and close friends. Now my friends list has a slew of people I don’t know, plus a handful of folks I strongly dislike. So while two years ago the baby pictures of my children were acceptable because aunties and cousins were enjoying them, they are are now totally inappropriate. And can we just talk about folks who have 100 headshots? Multiple angles. Multiple do’s. Multiple eye colors. Still the same you. I don’t have the heart to tell you that your bountiful photo albums serve as a beacon to predatory daters. I’ve deleted quite a few of my head and body shots and have many more to go. The number of likes I receive has no bearing on my self-esteem as it once did, so there’s no need for me to share 50 gazillion shots of my pretty face and… nevermind. Plus I don’t want someone fishing through my photos to determine if I’m right for their “agenda.” That’s nothing but bad business.
  • Add a little sugar to it! A wise woman (your momma) once  said “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” I agree with this statement 99.999% of the time. Every so often, I need to write something about a controversial matter, but I do so in a positive way. So I put a little sugar on it. With every comment, I respond with a little sugar. You can literally say anything to a person and communicate your point, no matter how controversial if you filter it through love and respect… maybe not for the person, but at least for the Almighty. Sometimes I just type in the Holy Ghost because in and of myself– I just can’t.

The fact of the matter is that social media is a record for you, or against you. Every tweet is recorded and heads to the Library of Congress. Your posts literally are RECORDING history!!! (Can we say primary sources?) Only you can decide how it will be used. If you approach your posts with the mind that EVERYTHING that goes up can be shared, it should bring a pause. Plus your stardom may only exist in your head.

I know this post offends a core group of individuals who feel that any change or derivation from your natural impulses is not being true to oneself. I’m not telling you to NOT be yourself. Be yourself, just smarter.


[quote]A wise man once said “It’s better to remain quiet, than type with your thumbs and remove all doubt.” Well, that’s kinda what he said. But you get the point.[/quote]



With love, sincerity, and hope for your future,



Being Single, Dating & Relationships, Uncategorized

Manage Your Expectations: Unwritten Dating Rules for Summer 2012

[dropcap style=”font-size: 60px; color: #9b9b9b;”] A [/dropcap]nother summer is upon us, and I certainly have grown since last year. You? Last year, we talked about lowering your expectations (in a sarcastic way of course), but this year we’ll just manage them.

We expect far too much or far too little from folks without allowing them to be who they are. No one needs to change to please you or even answer for who they are. We simply must observe what is and make an informed decision.

I’ve managed to remove most negative influences, both male and female from my circle, and though I’m not dating at this point, I figured I could offer some dating rules for summer 2012 for those of you who are. Actually I just wanted to give you a few snickers and “smizes” as my Twitter friends say.

So here are the top 9 (maybe you have 1 more) Unwritten Dating Rules for Summer 2012…

  1. Don’t you dare sext! A quick glance through folks’ Twitpics will reveal that the person on the other end is not quite as trustworthy as you think. And mistakes do happen. You don’t want to be a casualty.
  2. Auto-correct is of the devil. Who stores all those dirty words? Oh, that’s right… You do! Take a second to double-check before hitting “send.”
  3. God speaks through Swype. It’s funny… whenever I add  a new contact to my phone, a word other than their name pops up. For example, if I swype “John” the word “scum” may pop up. Hear ye the voice of the Lord!
  4. You don’t have to give everyone your number. GChat, FB chat, Twitter DM’s are sufficient for the first few questions. Once you give them your number, you’re locked in to the “keep” or “delete” struggle and ultimately the “Who is this?’ conversation once you do delete them.
  5. Twitter and FB should not be primary sources for acquisition of dating advice. Even those super churchy folk that always tweet about relationships can be wrong. I’ve learned some things here and there, but when it comes down to it, submission to the Holy Spirit trumps all.
  6. Ignore the overly-confident folks that are in relationships. While some of them got it right, others just got lucky, but the masses are settling. Don’t let them make you feel bad no matter how hard they try.
  7. At the introductory conversation, ask no more than 2 or 3 questions. If they don’t reciprocate, then back off. Choose simple questions that aren’t too personal. The first few conversations should be light and pressure-free.
  8. Dating is not necessary for an enjoyable summer. Some of us live in areas where suitable datees are few and far between. Others of us have different priorities. Romance is great, but having money is too. Find new ways to spend your time and energy.
  9. Don’t hate on the friend zone. It’s hilarious to me how much people hate “just being friends”, but I feel strongly that the best relationships have a firm foundation of friendship. If a man or woman won’t first be your friend, they won’t stick around to build anything significant. Furthermore, you REALLY get to know the person instead of being blinded by your lusts and desires. I mean, you can have a relationship with them inside your head and no one will know… whatever suits you. Disagree with me? That’s cool… get your own blog. (Really, you can just comment below and tell me why you think this is wrong. I’m interested in hearing why.)
  10. Ummm… I’m tapped dry. What would your number 10 be?

Share in the comments section below, and let’s see if we can’t make sense
of what we’re doing before we jump too far too fast.


With love, sincerity, and hope for a reasonably hot summer,